Introduction
Relocating your family can be an exciting time. New home,
new city
, new life. But a relocation, if not carefully planned can be a difficult and frustrating time for your family, especially your children.
Here, we provide you with information that you, as a parent, can use to ease the transition of relocation for your children and make it a more enjoyable experience for everyone.
Explain the Basics
The first and most important step in easing this transition is to have open communications with your children. A great way to start is to explain to them the basics of moving and of relocation. Be open with them about what's going on and what your doing. Don't be afraid to share some of your doubts and concerns as well. This will help ease your child's fears as they will see that you too are dealing with the transition, but are confident everything will be fine.
Take your children on a visual tour of the new location by whatever means are available to you. Taking them to the actual location would be best. But if that's not possible, have pictures, brochures, maps, etc. on hand to show them when you break the news. Tell them about recreation areas, schools, and other points of interest for them. If possible, involve them in the house-hunting process and encourage them to make contributions to the process, such as what they like and don't like about certain homes. Giving them some level of ownership will greatly ease the transition.
Stay Upbeat
Children are like mirrors - they will reflect your emotions and behavior. If you are upbeat about the relocation, they will tend to be more upbeat about it.
Keep the communications open and listen to their concerns. Don't be afraid to share your own. You reaction to your concerns will guide them in their reaction to theirs. Be accepting and understanding, and help assure them everything will be alright.
Acquire some resources to help if needed. Age-appropriate books from the bookstore will help them see the process in a positive way.
Their World
Give your children the responsibility of their world in the moving process as appropriate for their age. Their world is most likely defined in terms of their belongings: "My house, my toys, my room" etc. Being involved in moving their own "world" will give them some re-assurance about the move in general. They will be more confident that some of "their world" is coming with them.
Depending on their age, have them pack their own things. Label their boxes, "Amy's Toys" or "Billy's Books" etc. Make them colorful and fun. Give them some stickers to put on their boxes. (Stickers are Always a hit with kids!)
Also depending on their age, involve them in the process of what to keep and what to donate. Share with them the joy of helping someone else by giving of themselves as their age and maturity permits.
Closure
Children, like their parents, need to have closure - to say goodbye. Consider making a scrap book or photo album. Spend a day or two, or some time here and there with them, to take pictures or make drawings of their favorite places, people they love in various rooms, their friends, etc.
Make a place in the scrapbook for phone numbers and addresses of their friends. Give their friends a place to write notes to your children to read later. These things reassure your children you are not just abandoning the "old" life.
With your children, plan a going-away party. Make cards with the address of the new home to hand out at the party. Reassure your children that they will be able to call their old friends, or perhaps even visit if possible. Exchange phone numbers, email, and maybe even videos.
At the new place
Right away at the new place, set up their rooms, or get them started on their own unpacking and setting up their "new world" as age permits. This will help them not feel "lost." Again, the more ownership they can have, as their age and maturity permits, the more they will feel involved, and therefore comfortable, with the process.
Keep everything such as schedules, activities, meals, etc.. as normal as possible. This gives them more security that everything is ok.
As you network yourself in your new location, help your child network into theirs. Meet neighbors and invite neighborhood children over. Consider a "housewarming" party and involve your children. Sign up for local sports activities to help them meet other children and get them involved in the new community.
And Remember….
Children are fairly resilient. Overall, they will be fine. Even if at first they seem troubled, eventually, they will likely adjust well. These tips help ease that process and anything you follow-up with here will help. They may even find the experience exciting and new and end up even happier in the "new world." |
